Thursday, May 9, 2013
Nope to Elope, (original title)
Elopement, an option when it comes to tying the knot
Published 05/09/2013 12:00 AM
Updated 05/06/2013 01:06 PM
Last year we had two weddings in our immediate family, one in March and the other in September. One was chandeliers above the dance floor and the other stars over the tents in the back yard.
It's wedding season so thoughts of what it takes to pull off two of everything required to give daughters away, have resurfaced like amnesic flashes. It's sort of like childbirth; you forget the really uncomfortable push because you get to go home with something special.
At first, when our oldest set her date in March, I didn't know what to do, when to do it and if I tried to do it, I either did it late or wrong. When the second wedding rolled in I was getting the whole mother-of-the-bride-thing but by then, thank you Emily Post, we were out of daughters. A woman I work with is one of six daughters. When I asked her how her parents dealt with half a dozen weddings she said her father wrote a lot of checks and suggested elopement. Not one took him up on his suggestion.
Two weddings in less than six months, I figured was God's payback for my husband and I eloping.
We married on a Saturday night in May. During the day I went to work in the family business with my mother and brother and never once even alluded to our very special lifetime date that night. Being one of those people who seems to think it's all about me, that the entire world is actually interested on which side I part my hair, I was proud; I kept my mouth shut.
We decided to elope for two reasons; we were broke and we were broke. I was already over 30, so no way was I asking my parents to pay for formally legalizing the union of the relationship we had been enjoying for a year and a half; fancy words for we had been living together. That we didn't have a savings account pretty much defined the expenses regarding the ceremony and wedding festivities - justice of the peace in Essex and dinner at the Steak Loft in Mystic, for us and the couple we chose to witness the ceremony.
Before we left for the justice of the peace, we ceremonially toasted the upcoming event of our marriage. At the ceremony again we toasted to us. After our vows and signing on the dotted line, we celebrated with another sip in honor of the happy and momentous moment. On the way to Mystic we stopped at my parent's house in East Lyme to spring on them the happy news. My father, always the one to raise a glass of liquid approval to just about anything, eloquently toasted to our new future. He raised a second glass toasting to his good fortune that it didn't cost him a dime. By the time we made it to the restaurant we were, you guessed it, toasted.
The sumptuous meal was enjoyed by three of us. The other couple and I had a great time; my new husband had fallen asleep in the backseat of the car. I attribute this lapse in his ability to stay awake on one of the most important nights of his life, to tossing and turning the night before the wedding, work all day, and nothing to eat before the nuptials but "toast."
We laughed about it then and have continued to for 33 years. Our kids have heard the story many times and especially when each announced their own wedding plans.
"We'll write you a check if you want to elope," we told each one.
"Nope to elope," each said and I'm glad they did.
The weddings were wonderful. As to their father, he stayed awake both evenings right to the end. We made sure to feed him more than "toast." Enough said.
THERE ARE NO WEDDING TENTS IN CAROLYNN PIANTA'S YARD THIS YEAR. EMAIL HER AT CP.ENOUGHSAID@AOL.COM